Wednesday, 26 March 2008

"Boycott the Games!"

Hollered the enlightened citizens of the democratic world. Politicians, who are at the mercy of poll ratings, are now seriously considering whether to attend the opening ceremony of the Games.

Attend and that may be the last Games that you'll ever attend as the Head of the country. Being conspicuosly absent will mean that your countrymen would have to start paying a fair price for their kids' toys. It's a lose lose situation indeed.

What the heck were they thinking about when the Games were awarded to China? Did the Games committee think that China would have cross over from the Dark Side having being awarded the Games? Kind of reminds me of women marrying men thinking that they would change after the wedding. Hell no! The Games was awarded to Hitler's Germany and look at what happened.

While the world's democratic states are pondering on the number of monks killed before concrete action is to be taken, Sarkozy is bringing his trophy to meet up with the Queen.

Prince Charles looks rather distracted when greeting the French First Couple on the tarmac. Not because of Bruni but because of the pigeon on Carmilla's head.

The French do get it all, don't they?

Monday, 24 March 2008

Please come invade us!

Never ever understood the idea of beaming signals up into the deep space in the hope that we can notify any extra terrestrial (E.T.) of our presence. It just doesn't make sense.

If an E.T. civilisation has got the intelligence of our chicken, they wouldn't be even be able to receive our signals much less tell us that they're out there.

If an E.T. is so intelligent that we are chickens compared to them. Would any being with a sane mind expects kind treatment from them? We, humans, with our infinite wisdom, would be slaughtered, cut up and displayed in their Marks and Spencer.

It's really a lose lose situation. While the scientists are busy transmitting invites for invasion, an organic molecue was discovered in the atmosphere of HD 189733b, a planet 63 light years from Earth.

Amid all the excitement that there might be life out there, it might just be HD 189733bians' sheer carelessness to have a molecule leak from their organic laser designed solely to blast Earth out of the cosmos.

Well, at least we can take comfort that there is some intelligent lifeforms in existence after all.

Sunday, 23 March 2008

Black is in.

Black actors are in short supply in Hollywood these days and it is getting white actors to fill up black roles. Just how did they do it? Well, just smear some paint on your face and you're halfway there.

42 year old Robert Downey Jr., having tried Sarah Jessica Parker, Marisa Tomei, Deborah Falconer, has since got tired of Susan Levin and now trying to be a black in Tropic Thunder. The upcoming comedy, which also stars Ben Stiller and Jack Black (oh surprise!) tells about three chaps being dumped into the real Vietnam War after their director got fed up with them on a Vietnam War movie set.

Ok, I'm tired from reading (and copying) the wikipidia page. You go read it yourself.

There was some uproar over this 'method' acting stuff. But hey, no point getting pissed of when a black has been masquerading as a white all this while and earning bucketloads of greens doing Pepsi advertisement, yah?

Thursday, 20 March 2008

Beat up some monks...

That's what the Chinese government is busying themselves with now. With Olympics 2008 just round the corner, what begun as an event for boosting national pride has relegated to an opportunity to exploit for Chinese' detractors.

Young Tibetans, who had enough of Chinese 'occupation', are going out on the streets trying to topple the establishment. Dalai Lama, who is now in exile, denied vehemently that he has a hand in this. He would, however, enjoy a cup of English tea with Gordan Brown when he drops by London.

Gordan Brown, on the hand, was hounded by the Conservatives to send a 'strong signal' to the Chinese government. Looking at how events are progressing, British children may not be getting any China made toys this coming Christmas.

Well, at least they would be safe from toy paint poisoning.

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

The Poles are invading...

Ok, that's old story. It's no secret that Polish have overrun Britain. After cornering the plumbing industry, they're now eyeing the Royal Army. In fact, there are so many eager Polish recruits that the Army recuitment officers are asking the Labour Government to ease the rule that only British citizens are allowed into the Army. Looking at how things go, Prince Harry will be leading Polish soldiers in Afghanistan pretty soon.

While the Polish is fighting for the right to serve, Heather Mills is busy giving press conferences outside the Court. Her constant droning about how little she got (700 pounds for each hour of marriage, more than 24 million pounds in all) got me so worked up that I nearly wanted to take the Tube down to strangle her in front of the media.

On a lighter note, Simon Cowell, after all the lambasting of Idol contestants, finally decided to part with his money to do some good. He paid 80,000 pounds for a young girl's cancer treatment and he did that on Oprah no less. 80k for publicity... a very good deal indeed.