Thursday 8 May 2008

Misguided good intentions...

It came to light that the Myanmese junta were well aware of the incoming cyclone that hit Myanma's southwest coast.

The junta was informed as early as 48 hrs before but it chose to play it down and, for some obscure reasons, informing its citizens to brace themselves for some 'heavy rains' instead.

Although there were no credible official figures, external agencies have estimated that as much as 100,000 Myanmese may have perished in the most recent catastrophe that struck the monsoon prone area. What the junta failed to do in its most recent crackdown, the cyclone did it for them.

In the meantime, external aid is slow to come by as the military government is not exactly transparent about how it's going to distribute it. The last thing that donors want is for the aid to feed the army instead.

Josef Fritzl, the current Dad pin-up (for pub dart boards, that is) is pleading for his case.

He claimed that he has treated his daughter well throughout her 24 year ordeal and in the process fathering 7 children (one of whom died at birth).

He also claimed that he 'could have killed his daughter but choose not to'. The judge should award him the 'Dad of the Millennium' for even suggesting that.

Bring back the death penalty!

Monday 28 April 2008

United we stand!

You got to give President Robert Mugabe some credit these days. His accomplishment of uniting the Parliamentary opposition and the people of Zimbabwe is laudable in every sense of the word. The fact that the union is against him is immaterial.

Opposition leaders Morgan Tsvangirai and Arthur Mutambara, having put months of bickering behind them, held a news conference in South Africa demanding the President to step down.

In a country where political strength is dictated by guns and the Presidential election winner had to declare his victory in a neighbouring country, it's unlikely that the incumbent will just bend over. For Mugabe knows very well that he would be as good as dead if he gave up the reins of power.

While Mugabe is finding himself quite lacking in friends, China's friendship with North Korea went up a notch. The Olympic torch relay was, for a change, welcome by the populace without any embarrassing incident.

That'll mean that Kim Jong-Il will get his supply of foie gras replenished.

Tuesday 22 April 2008

And you thought you had it bad!

Alister Darling went up to the banks and gave the "I scratch your back and now it's time for you to scratch mine" speech.

Instead of bending over, the banks have decided that the £50 billion is not going to get them ease the higher mortgage rates that many homeowners are facing.

Being rational businesses, the banks decided that these money should be used to pay for meeting lunches and CEOs salary packages instead. Well, with all that cash, the bank shareholders can now scoop up all the properties that many homeowners are now defaulting. Cruel? Nay, it's just another day's of work for them.

Across the Atlantic, the defaulting homeowners have another thing on their mind; they'll be choosing either a woman who is unleashing the charm of her man, a black man who has decided to focus on the weaknesses of his opponent or a tired white man who's still harping about his past glories.

Whoever emerged the winner will decide on whether to cross the 37th parallel and kick Kim in the groin or nuke Iran's... well, nukes.

And you think you had it bad!

Monday 21 April 2008

Come on already!

There was public fury on how Prince Williams, having obtained his RAF license, flew a Chinook to pick up his brother (Prince Harry) in London for a stag party at Isle of Wight. News broke out this week that prior to that, Prince Williams landed the same helicopter on his girlfriend's estate. The heli was on the ground for all of 20 seconds 'without anyone boarding or alighting'. Perhaps the Prince just wanted to blow Kate a kiss.

How could he do this? When there's already not enough funding for the thousands of immigrants into the UK to take care of their healthcare, housing and even translators for those who aren't conversant with English.

What about the funding for Top Gear's stunts? I mean, that Chinook was meant to race with the next car that's gonna be on Jeremy's show! Never mind that the troops in Afghanistan can do with more air support... Top Gear must go on! RAF bigwigs should get their priorities right!

Wednesday 26 March 2008

"Boycott the Games!"

Hollered the enlightened citizens of the democratic world. Politicians, who are at the mercy of poll ratings, are now seriously considering whether to attend the opening ceremony of the Games.

Attend and that may be the last Games that you'll ever attend as the Head of the country. Being conspicuosly absent will mean that your countrymen would have to start paying a fair price for their kids' toys. It's a lose lose situation indeed.

What the heck were they thinking about when the Games were awarded to China? Did the Games committee think that China would have cross over from the Dark Side having being awarded the Games? Kind of reminds me of women marrying men thinking that they would change after the wedding. Hell no! The Games was awarded to Hitler's Germany and look at what happened.

While the world's democratic states are pondering on the number of monks killed before concrete action is to be taken, Sarkozy is bringing his trophy to meet up with the Queen.

Prince Charles looks rather distracted when greeting the French First Couple on the tarmac. Not because of Bruni but because of the pigeon on Carmilla's head.

The French do get it all, don't they?

Monday 24 March 2008

Please come invade us!

Never ever understood the idea of beaming signals up into the deep space in the hope that we can notify any extra terrestrial (E.T.) of our presence. It just doesn't make sense.

If an E.T. civilisation has got the intelligence of our chicken, they wouldn't be even be able to receive our signals much less tell us that they're out there.

If an E.T. is so intelligent that we are chickens compared to them. Would any being with a sane mind expects kind treatment from them? We, humans, with our infinite wisdom, would be slaughtered, cut up and displayed in their Marks and Spencer.

It's really a lose lose situation. While the scientists are busy transmitting invites for invasion, an organic molecue was discovered in the atmosphere of HD 189733b, a planet 63 light years from Earth.

Amid all the excitement that there might be life out there, it might just be HD 189733bians' sheer carelessness to have a molecule leak from their organic laser designed solely to blast Earth out of the cosmos.

Well, at least we can take comfort that there is some intelligent lifeforms in existence after all.

Sunday 23 March 2008

Black is in.

Black actors are in short supply in Hollywood these days and it is getting white actors to fill up black roles. Just how did they do it? Well, just smear some paint on your face and you're halfway there.

42 year old Robert Downey Jr., having tried Sarah Jessica Parker, Marisa Tomei, Deborah Falconer, has since got tired of Susan Levin and now trying to be a black in Tropic Thunder. The upcoming comedy, which also stars Ben Stiller and Jack Black (oh surprise!) tells about three chaps being dumped into the real Vietnam War after their director got fed up with them on a Vietnam War movie set.

Ok, I'm tired from reading (and copying) the wikipidia page. You go read it yourself.

There was some uproar over this 'method' acting stuff. But hey, no point getting pissed of when a black has been masquerading as a white all this while and earning bucketloads of greens doing Pepsi advertisement, yah?

Thursday 20 March 2008

Beat up some monks...

That's what the Chinese government is busying themselves with now. With Olympics 2008 just round the corner, what begun as an event for boosting national pride has relegated to an opportunity to exploit for Chinese' detractors.

Young Tibetans, who had enough of Chinese 'occupation', are going out on the streets trying to topple the establishment. Dalai Lama, who is now in exile, denied vehemently that he has a hand in this. He would, however, enjoy a cup of English tea with Gordan Brown when he drops by London.

Gordan Brown, on the hand, was hounded by the Conservatives to send a 'strong signal' to the Chinese government. Looking at how events are progressing, British children may not be getting any China made toys this coming Christmas.

Well, at least they would be safe from toy paint poisoning.

Wednesday 19 March 2008

The Poles are invading...

Ok, that's old story. It's no secret that Polish have overrun Britain. After cornering the plumbing industry, they're now eyeing the Royal Army. In fact, there are so many eager Polish recruits that the Army recuitment officers are asking the Labour Government to ease the rule that only British citizens are allowed into the Army. Looking at how things go, Prince Harry will be leading Polish soldiers in Afghanistan pretty soon.

While the Polish is fighting for the right to serve, Heather Mills is busy giving press conferences outside the Court. Her constant droning about how little she got (700 pounds for each hour of marriage, more than 24 million pounds in all) got me so worked up that I nearly wanted to take the Tube down to strangle her in front of the media.




On a lighter note, Simon Cowell, after all the lambasting of Idol contestants, finally decided to part with his money to do some good. He paid 80,000 pounds for a young girl's cancer treatment and he did that on Oprah no less. 80k for publicity... a very good deal indeed.

Wednesday 27 February 2008

Rock the world!

The UK was hit by an earthquake in the wee hours today. Not exactly like the one that happened in San Francisco on 18th April 1906, which lasted for a full minute; the one in UK, which is just 200km north of London, lasted for a mere 10 seconds. For some, it was a very long 10 seconds indeed.

Unlike California, Indonesia or Japan, the UK is not on any major faultlines. Thus it's not surprising when some aren't quite sure what's going on. Due to the fact that it's relatively low on the Richter (4.7), some even slept through it. No fatalities and just one confirmed injured, Britons got away with it easy.

No major upheavals of roads, no fires due to damaged gas pipes and no cars fell through the cracks and towards the centre of the Earth although that would have been a pretty interesting journey. Other than some damaged chimneys and a few roof tiles lying on the road, the isle has nothing very much to show for.

But 27th Feb 2008 would always be remembered as 'the day when the beds shake'.

Tuesday 26 February 2008

Doomsday Vault

An underground vault will start operation today on an island near Artic Ocean. The vault will house millions of seeds from the every corner of the Earth. The idea is to provide the 'new world' with a lease of life should doomsday arrive.

One question (ok, several actually) popped up the moment I saw the article. What are the chances of the vault surviving when doomsday come? Why stop only at one vault? It's a typical case of all eggs in a basket. Why not install a vault in the moon instead? There is a good chance that the aliens would neglect the moon when the invasion comes. What makes the scientist think that the conditions would be suitable for germination after doomsday? Wouldn't that be thinkering around with nature if new species have to compete with those stored in the vault?

Whatever the answers may be, the New York Philharmonic Orchestra is desperately trying to do its bit in delaying doomsday by charming Kim into deactivating all his nukes.

Friday 22 February 2008

The greatest show on Earth (coming this winter!)

America loves having a show. Heck, in fact the whole world is watching with abated breath. Who is going to inherit Afghanistan? Who is going to prevent the Middle Eastern states from tearing each other apart and ensure that the oil continues to flow? Who is going to decide whether to whether to embrace China's increasing influence or to counter it? Whoever that is, it's not going to be a certain Mr. Bush. He is wise not to appear in any of the Republican rallies at all. In fact, he should do McCain a favour by throwing his weight behind the Democrats.

Clinton, with 2.5 million dollars of her own money in the campaign kitty, is looking a bit shaky. Doesn't help that she is trailling behind Obama in the electoral votes. Thinking that she has found a kink is Obama's armour, she struck out at him in a debtate yesterday only to be heckled by the audience. Barring a miracle (Obama would even survive a sex scandal), the stage is set for a fight between Obama and McCain. That's the strange thing about 'momentum'. Clinton should perhaps look towards cutting losses and hope to sit in as Obama's deputy with some of her own money still intact.

McCain, on the other hand, is not getting on any better even though he's obviously the frontrunner for the Republicans (regardless of what the party elders choose to believe).

Seriously, what do the public expect? There are bound to be skeletons in the closet of people who have tenaciously attain high office. It's really a matter of how deep you dig.

Thursday 21 February 2008

Space shooting race

Pentagon announced that the missile launched from a Navy warship has successfully hit an errant satellite, which if left unchecked, would spiral without control and hit the Earth causing harm with its toxic fuel. Well, that's the official story at least.

China launched a similar missile on 11 Jan 2007 to showcase their military capability to bring down satellite when the need arises. Russia's Putin is too busy wading in his oil pool to jump into the bandwagon.

Needless to say, both China and Russia were quick to point out that Pentogon's sacrificing one of its satellite to save the world is just a cover to test the capability of its missile in space. No one knows the truth. Not even President Bush for he's too busy bringing democracy to Cuba.

Will it be the start of a space shooting race? Will the thousands of satellite orbiting the Earth become fair game for all? Maybe you should run for cover the next time your GPS fails.

Wednesday 20 February 2008

Youth's angst and depression...

Another young adult (Jenna Parry) was found hanged in Britain yesterday. Police suspect that it's another suicide case. It's the 17th case of its kind in the Bridgend area (south Wales) since the start of last year. The fact that a number of these incidents involve people who know or are related to each other fuels suspicions that it is a case of suicide pacts. Some blame the media for over reporting on the details for the earlier cases thus glamorising the acts and prompting copycat suicides.

Does the reponsibility lie with the media or are today's youth are less resilient? If the latter is true, does the society has a hand in it?

The act of suicide is indeed an irresponsible one. The victims (or perpetrators depending on how one looks at it) took their lives without regards as to how that might affect their families and the society at large. If our society's emphasis on the individual (instead of the community) is promoting such selfish actions, then wouldn't it be counterproductive to sympathise with the victims? Doing so would only push more youths to go down the same path as that would ensure attention being showered upon them even though it would proof to be meaningless.

The public has called for more emotional support (counselling etc.) to be provided for youths. In my opinion, it's like providing a second crutch to a person who should be learning how to get rid of the first one. Instead of getting youths to 'talk' about their angst and depression, efforts should be channelled towards building up the spirit of community with opportunities that will encourage youths to play a more active part in the local community. Doing that will enable youths understand the impact and implications of their individual actions.

Your thoughts on this matter?

Tuesday 19 February 2008

Democracy rules?

Fidel Castro announced his resignation as Cuban President today and Bush, expectedly, scrambled to suggest a fresh start with a Castro-free Cuba. For starters, the well heeled in Miami will have cheaper Cuban cigars after surviving on those smuggled in. Castro vowed to stay alive to see Bush leave the office. It reminds me of Deng Xiaoping, who struggled at his deathbed to see Hong Kong reverted to China's rule after a 99-year lease to Britain. He died a few months short of the handover ceremony. Bush, on the other hand, will retire as the President in November and Castro is hanging on tight.

I'm curious though. Is the democracy known to US beneficial to all? Would Cuba have flourished if Castro was not in the picture? Or would it end up being just another fledging nation plagued with poverty under a corrupt government? I've heard of Castro being dictatorial but no one has yet accused him of being corrupt.

In Pakistan, Benazir Bhutto's party has trounced President Musharraf's Pakistan Muslim League-Q. Bhutto would have her third shot as the head of the country if not for the unfortunate assination. Now that the 'tyrant' is going to be removed for sure, would Pakistan thrive in the name of democracy? Or will there be a power struggle within the coaliation of previously opposing political parties?

What do you think?