United we stand!

You got to give President Robert Mugabe some credit these days. His accomplishment of uniting the Parliamentary opposition and the people of Zimbabwe is laudable in every sense of the word. The fact that the union is against him is immaterial.

Opposition leaders Morgan Tsvangirai and Arthur Mutambara, having put months of bickering behind them, held a news conference in South Africa demanding the President to step down.

In a country where political strength is dictated by guns and the Presidential election winner had to declare his victory in a neighbouring country, it's unlikely that the incumbent will just bend over. For Mugabe knows very well that he would be as good as dead if he gave up the reins of power.

While Mugabe is finding himself quite lacking in friends, China's friendship with North Korea went up a notch. The Olympic torch relay was, for a change, welcome by the populace without any embarrassing incident.

That'll mean that Kim Jong-Il will get his supply of foie gras replenished.

And you thought you had it bad!

Alister Darling went up to the banks and gave the "I scratch your back and now it's time for you to scratch mine" speech.

Instead of bending over, the banks have decided that the £50 billion is not going to get them ease the higher mortgage rates that many homeowners are facing.

Being rational businesses, the banks decided that these money should be used to pay for meeting lunches and CEOs salary packages instead. Well, with all that cash, the bank shareholders can now scoop up all the properties that many homeowners are now defaulting. Cruel? Nay, it's just another day's of work for them.

Across the Atlantic, the defaulting homeowners have another thing on their mind; they'll be choosing either a woman who is unleashing the charm of her man, a black man who has decided to focus on the weaknesses of his opponent or a tired white man who's still harping about his past glories.

Whoever emerged the winner will decide on whether to cross the 37th parallel and kick Kim in the groin or nuke Iran's... well, nukes.

And you think you had it bad!

Come on already!

There was public fury on how Prince Williams, having obtained his RAF license, flew a Chinook to pick up his brother (Prince Harry) in London for a stag party at Isle of Wight. News broke out this week that prior to that, Prince Williams landed the same helicopter on his girlfriend's estate. The heli was on the ground for all of 20 seconds 'without anyone boarding or alighting'. Perhaps the Prince just wanted to blow Kate a kiss.

How could he do this? When there's already not enough funding for the thousands of immigrants into the UK to take care of their healthcare, housing and even translators for those who aren't conversant with English.

What about the funding for Top Gear's stunts? I mean, that Chinook was meant to race with the next car that's gonna be on Jeremy's show! Never mind that the troops in Afghanistan can do with more air support... Top Gear must go on! RAF bigwigs should get their priorities right!